Friday, November 6, 2009
Mastering Human Relationships
"I think what makes us human is our interconnectedness among people. It's our ability to form and maintain relationships. It's the barometer by which we call ourselves human." Thomas Jane
By Brian Tracy
NO, NO, NO this is not Brian Tracey, the Early To Rise Free email was delivered to my inbox today with this article by Mr. Tracey If you are not familiar with him yet, you should be, take my word for it.
I thought that I would be inexcusably selfish of me to keep it to myself. If you got it already, give a read again. If you want articles like this subscribe to Early To Rise, it is free or follow my blog. Both links are below and you can follow me on twitter too.
Unfortunately, I only share these when they resonate with me. This one did. Read it and think of your friends and your "friends" and even your family; it applies everywhere. Personally, I'm an open friendship kinda guy, I wish I could befriend the world, (Is "befriend a word?) Anyway, whatever they call it, I will like to do that.
One of the human species ongoing miracle is that everyone can justify their own actions to themselves before and during the act. Once done, if it lacks moral or ethical rationale most regret it. The miracle is that they actually thought it was the ideal and logical thing to do.
Unfortunately that also holds true for sadistic killers, and other aberrant behaviors we see. But lets not look at the extreme negative side of life. The point is you should be willing to forgive your friends for whatever you "think" they did. That's the meaning of true friendship. Conflicts in friendship empowers the injured the ability to forgive. Forgiving is getting; not materially but with a heightened consciousness of self.
Remember you cannot drink poison and expect the other person to die, plus hate leaves a forever sour taste in your mouth.
Well, nuff of what I think, read the article by Brian Tracey, I'm sure you would agree, its a keeper. Oh, and you don't have to thank me because even if I don't know you, yet; YOU ARE MY FRIEND
You get more out of your relationships with others -- more easily -- by not approaching them directly. It's because of something called the Law of Indirect Effort.
For example, if you want to impress someone, the direct way to do it is to point out your admirable qualities and accomplishments. But talking about yourself usually makes you feel a little foolish. (And sometimes embarrassed.)
The indirect way to impress another person is simply to be impressed by him. The more impressed you are -- by who he is or what he has accomplished -- the more impressed he will be by you.
If you want to get someone interested in you, the direct way is to tell him all about yourself. But the indirect way works better. Simply become interested in him. The more interested you become in him, the more interested he will become in you.
If you want to be happy, the direct way is to do things that will make you happy. However, the most enjoyable and lasting form of happiness comes from making someone else happy. It's the Law of Indirect Effort at work again. When you do or say anything that makes someone else happy, you feel happy yourself. You boost your own spirits, your own self-esteem.
How do you get another person to respect you? The best way is to respect him. When you demonstrate respect or admiration for another person, he feels respect and admiration for you. Sociologists call this the Principle of Reciprocity. When you do something nice for someone else, that person will want to reciprocate by doing something nice for you. (Most romances and friendships are based on this principle.)
How do you get a person to believe in you? The answer is to believe in him. By showing that you have confidence in him, he will have confidence in you too.
You get what you give. What you send out, you get back.
The most important application of the Law of Indirect Effort has to do with developing a healthy personality. You are structured in such a way that everything you do to someone else has a reciprocal effect on you. Everything you do to raise the self-esteem of another person raises your own self-esteem -- at the same time and in the same measure. Since self-esteem is the hallmark of a healthy personality, you can actually improve the health of your own personality by taking every opportunity to improve the health of the personalities of others.
What you sow in the lives of others, you reap in your own life.
Everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. This is especially true in the area of self-esteem and self-confidence. Everyone grows up with the need to be praised and recognized. No matter how successful or how elevated people become, they still need to have their self-images reinforced.
There is a line that says, "I like you because of the way I feel about myself when I am with you." This line contains the key to human relations. The happiest men and women are those who make other people feel good about themselves when they are with them.
When you go through life raising the self-esteem of others, opportunities will open up. And people will help you in ways you cannot now imagine. So take every opportunity to say and do things that make other people feel more valuable. Each time you express a kindness toward another person, your own self-esteem improves. Your own personality becomes more positive and healthy.
The way to raise the self-esteem of others is simply to make them feel important. Everything you do or say that makes another person feel more important boosts his self-esteem at the same time.
When you practice the Law of Indirect Effort -- going through your day looking for ways to make others feel important -- you will be popular and welcome everywhere. You will be healthier and happier. You will get more real satisfaction from life. You will have lower levels of stress and higher levels of energy. You will experience greater peace of mind. Above all, you will genuinely like and respect yourself.
[Ed. Note: You can become a more positive, persuasive, influential person with Brian Tracy's The Power of Charm.Many of the most successful people in the world, and throughout history, have been described as "charming." In this one hour CD, you will learn how to become more charming with everyone in your life. Get yours today.]
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